For Richer Or Poorer - Or Not

Everyone should know, getting divorced is like getting a tooth pulled. There are two holes in your body that I can reach into in order to get the tooth. The first is your mouth, the second…I’ll leave to your imagination.

In any case, that tooth has to come out. What I’m trying to say is, while most matrimonial can be resolved by a simple application of the law to the facts, there are times when the other side, for whatever reason, takes a hard line or unreasonable position. It’s these times when the lawyer you hired had better have the skill set necessary to win, the work ethic to give 100% and an unflinching desire to represent the client.

The trick to hiring a good matrimonial lawyer is finding someone who knows the law and has the moral compass to keep your best interests at heart.

Perhaps it’s my experience in criminal defense litigation that makes me different, but I don’t run up an unnecessary legal bill. First off, I’m too busy to waste time performing unnecessary services or going through some pointless “paper chase” just to put out "billables". Next, by taking a direct approach, I can cut through the nonsense and bring matters to a boil without spending the kids’ college tuition or blowing through your retirement account.

Like I said earlier, it’s like getting a tooth pulled. There is an easy way and a hard way. I have found that it is always better to do it the easy way but, if the other side makes it impossible, well let’s say I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty.

There are several rules that I abide by when dealing with a matrimonial case.

Rules To A Smooth Divorce Or Family Situation

Rule #1: Don’t chase rabbits that are not worth catching.
This means that while matrimonial litigation is an emotional area of the law, you cannot let your emotions lead to bad business decisions. In a nutshell, you don’t spend $10,000.00 in legal bills for an $8,000.00 asset. After all, unless the asset is Grandma’s ashes and the urn she’s in, the aggravation and cost do not justify the ultimate benefit. Quite simply, sometimes you just walk away.

Rule #2: The trick to succeeding is to always, no matter what, stay reasonable.
There’s is an old Marine Corps expression, “be a jar of Hellman’s mayo, keep cool, never freeze”.

Keeping your poise and composure during the turbulent times is critical to a positive outcome. In my mind, the lawyer is supposed to be the voice of reason, basing his decisions on the law as applied to the facts. The lawyer is not supposed to exploit the client’s fear, rage or passion. I'm there to protect you and guide you to rational, fact-based decisions. This is not to say you become a pushover, only that you must always stay focused and avoid letting your judgment become clouded by emotion.

Rule #3: If it gets down to a fight, you drop the gloves and go bare knuckles.
When reason and persuasion fail, you go to the middle of the ring and bring to bear all the skill and experience you have in order to win. Not every issue in a matrimonial action is pointless. Sometimes there is a real reason to fight, and when that day comes, you will be comforted when you look over and it’s me answering the bell for you.

Fighting For What's Important to You

At this point in my career, I am as established in matrimonial actions as I am in criminal defense. Indeed, my approach to these two very different practice areas is the same. If we cannot agree, let’s go to trial.

I have litigated cases involving multi-million dollar marital estates and those involving, for instance, retired cops and firemen.

It is ironic that on more than one occasion, a police officer I cross-examined in a criminal case later on retains me to handle his or her divorce. The point is, my firm is geared up for litigation and is able to handle the wide spectrum of marital estates that come across my desk.

Notwithstanding my knowledge and experience in dealing with the economic issues that are inherent in a divorce, when it comes to custody and visitation, that’s where I really shine.

I have personally litigated some 75 full-blown custody trials and, I humbly admit, I’m good at it. Custody trials are no different than criminal trials in that the lawyer’s job is to prove a set of facts and be persuasive during the process. Having so much “trial time” is what separates me from your traditional matrimonial lawyer. The best way to put it is, while your average matrimonial lawyer will try one or two cases a year, I, on the other hand, will, between matrimonial and criminal, try 10 or 12. Trying this many cases give me a familiarity with the rules of evidence and Courtroom procedure that is rarely encountered. Quite simply, I have Courtroom experience that gives me an advantage when a custody case goes to trial.

The two most important things about the lawyer’s role in a contested custody proceeding is, when you say you’re going to trial-mean it. And second, when you announce that you’re going to trial, it should send child down the other side’s spine.

You get what you pay for in legal services, so get the best in attorney representation and call Law Offices of Robert J. Del Col at 631-271-4684.

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